


Happy Medium

by orphan_account



Category: A Wrinkle in Time (2018), Kairos (O'Keefe) Series - Madeleine L'Engle
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 10:45:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13925511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Meg eagerly waits for Calvin's call but gets a house-call instead.





	Happy Medium

**Author's Note:**

> I just got out of A Wrinkle in Time and it was beautiful! Stunning visuals and a great message that lots of black girls need to hear. Bless Ava Duvernay for bringing such an unapologetically feminine and black film to the big screen.
> 
> It wasn't a perfect movie at all, but it was bursting with love at the seams and I hope I managed to capture even a fraction of that.

Meg is curled into the grass, thin blanket over thin shoulders and cellphone in hand.

It’s been an emotional day and unfortunately, she knows just how emotional it’s been for her Mom. In _very_ explicit detail.

She’s hidden away in the backyard, pretending to page through an old book at first before giving up the pretense entirely and compulsively checking her phone.

She feels like a fragile piece of the universe again, when Calvin comes up behind her and makes her jump.

_He definitely saw me checking his name on my phone._

She’s embarrassed but he doesn’t give her a chance to be, squatting down next to her.

“What are you doing down there?”

“What am I doing down here!? What are you doing here?” Her voice grows quiet, “You said you were going to call.”

He smiles gently, in that disarming way that she still isn’t used to. Like he’s bemused by everything she does.

“I did,” he agrees, before lying down next to her on the grass, “But I decided to make a house-call instead. If that’s okay?”

He looks at her anxiously, like he really thinks she’d kick him out of her backyard, and it makes her sad.

“You can always come here,” she says, words strong. She wants him to believe her.

He smiles again before lying back down. Meg lets her eyes trace the shapes of the stars and the wisps of cloud fading into the night sky before she asks him.

“How did the talk with your Dad go?”

The silence feels like it goes on for years before Calvin speaks.

“It went…okay.”

“Just, okay?”

“Well, my face is all one colour so I’d say so.”

Meg sits up sharply, her ears ringing as blood rushes to her head. She feels the same way she felt when she threw that ball in Victoria’s face.

_I think the Romans call it ‘bloodlust’._

“Do not joke like that,” she snaps.

She flips through the rolodex of her mind, thinking back to the times she’s caught glimpses of Calvin at school. He’s always looked golden to her. Smiling and so goddamn perfect she couldn’t even dream of speaking to him. But the memory of his Father is crisper and brighter as if she was sitting in Calvin’s place getting screamed at. It feels more real than all of her memories of Calvin from school combined.

Calvin stays quiet, until he hears Meg sniffle.

He sits up, looking as appalled as she’s ever seen him.

“Oh no, Meg,” he thumbs at her wet cheeks gently, like she really is that fragile piece, “Don’t cry.”

She waves his hands away but he won’t relent, catching every tear before they can run down her face.

“I’m sorry,” he says helplessly.

“Don’t apologize,” she whispers. She hates how he apologizes for everything.

Her tears have burned away any shame she has left, so she curls into Calvin’s side and lets the blanket fall from her shoulders. It isn't doing much to stop the cold air anyways.

“Jesus,” Calvin says, rubbing her arms with his hands, trying to gather some warmth, “You’re freezing.”

She shrugs, “After today, I can’t complain.”

She survived the It. She has her Dad and Charles Wallace back. She feels like a warrior, and warriors don’t get cold.

_They don’t crush on boys either._

He laughs like she’s said something equal parts endearing and ridiculous, before he pulls her to his chest, her head resting under his chin.

 It reminds her of when he wrapped himself around her inside the tree. His arms were a shield, but now they’re warm and lax, his shirt clean instead of muddy.

 “That’s not a good reason to freeze,” he teases and she’s so comfortable, she only hums in response.

The stars seem sharper with his arms around her, the moon brighter.

She could almost sink into it if it weren’t for the promise of tomorrow that came from the moon hanging in the sky. As beautiful as it was, the sun would eventually rise and tomorrow with it.

Meg would need to go back to school like she hadn’t just experienced something extraordinary, and Calvin would return back to his normal life – if he knew what was good for him.

The self-loathing rises hot and unexpected, like bile in her throat.

_Don’t be afraid._

She’s not sure if the whisper in her head is her own, or Mrs. Which, but she doesn’t care. She knows what fear turns into, and she’s done letting it control her.

“Is it going to go back to how things were tomorrow?” she asks, afraid of his answer.

“What do you mean?”

She pauses before tentatively asking, “Are we going to go back to being strangers?”

He jerks away from her in shock, and she hates it. She wants his arm back around her but instead he’s staring down at her, hurt.

“Why would you ask that?”

She doesn’t answer because it should be obvious.

_I’m a freak. Everyone hates me. They’ll hate you if they see you with me._

It had been so easy to say those same things to Calvin earlier. But now they feel wrong and sour in her mouth.

“You know why,” she says and she rubs her eyes red to stop them from tearing. But they do anyway.

His eyes soften, turning Calvin into someone she’s more familiar with. Not someone hurt or angry, but someone who almost adores her.

“Meg, whatever you’re thinking…. it’s not true.”

“You don’t know what I’m thinking,” she snips. It’s one of her faults, pushing people away. It usually works too, but not with Calvin.

“I do,” he says, “You think you’re a freak and a terrible person, but you’re not. You’re amazing.”

He’s said so often enough, but she’s hated herself for much longer.

“But I’m not Calvin. You only think that because of what happened. Outside _that_ …!” she waves her hands, “I’m just Meg Murry. A delinquent with no friends. And with good reason.”

She’s sure he’ll leave now, her point made, but he shakes his head.

“Do you really think I only noticed you today?”

She’s almost positive he did, but she stays quiet.

“I saw you when your Dad first went missing. Everyone was treating you with kid gloves, even Mr. Jenkins. Until one day, he skipped you. Most kids would have taken the chance to blow off school, but you were so angry that he thought he was doing you a favour, you walked right up to the board and finished every single problem.”

Meg remembers that day. She was vibrating with hurt and rage, at herself mostly. Mr. Jenkins acting like she was too emotional and _stupid_ to answer a simple Science question had tipped her over the edge.

She was even less impressive than she is now, nearly a foot shorter with braids that curled behind her ears.

_But Calvin still noticed me._

“It was the coolest thing I had ever seen, especially because I couldn’t even answer one of them.”

She shrugs but Calvin puts a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

“You’ve always been amazing, Meg. Before and after, friends or no friends. But you have friends now.”

His hand slides down her arm, leaving a trail of heat before he wraps her small hand in his.

She blushes pink, grateful for the shade of night.

Meg’s still not used to his compliments. Or his touch, if she’s being honest.

“I’m _okay_ ,” she sniffles, breaking it off with a giggle when Calvin jabs her soft stomach.

“You’re definitely more than okay,” Calvin says, smiling down at her.

“Fine,” she acquiesces.

She can’t call herself amazing yet but she can say this, “More than okay.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Calvin and Meg aren't 'okay' yet because self-love isn't done in a day. But they're getting there.
> 
> If you enjoyed, please leave a review or a kudos!


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